Author Archives: Todd French

The Jennifer Knapp Dilemma

By Todd French | April 18, 2010

After a hiatus of many years from the recording industry Jennifer Knapp has returned with a new album.  In and of itself, this is a run of the mill event, as artists leave and return many years later all the time.  She left the industry at the height of her popularity for a plethora of reasons, and she stayed away for reasons that made sense and were rational to at least her. 

When she left, she was largely a Contemporary Christian music artist.  She has accompanied her return with an announcement, in extensive interviews in both Christianity Today, and The Advocate  , that she is a lesbian, so most experts are unsure as to where to classify her music right now.  Is it pop, is it rock, is it still contemporary Christian music, most don’t know and aren’t sure.  And when our culture isn’t sure how to label something, isn’t sure which category, which pigeon-hole in which something belongs, chaos ensues.

I sincerely hope I am wrong about what seems to be coming down the pipeline to a theater near you and me, but…  I believe that in the coming weeks and months there is likely to be a heated discussion between the gay community, and mainstream Christianity revolving around Ms. Knapp.  It is likely to be angry, vitriolic, vicious, and bloody.  We are likely to hear some of the worst things possible from both camps about each side.  It has happened before and it is likely that it will happen.  It’s almost as if we can hear the knives being sharpened on both sides for the rhetorical bloodbath that is to come.  It’s as we can almost hear the tools at work preparing the battlements, digging the trenches, and filling the moats to defend each position.

And if that is what this situation boils down to, I think it will be a disgrace.  If this whole matter becomes nothing more than another culture war slugfest between these camps, it will be another black eye for both communities.  It will end up being a box on both houses.  And it will serve as a distinct reminder to the world of how cold and callous we all can be to one another.  It will remind everyone that for six thousand years of recorded history we have advanced in brotherhood so very little.  It will be as repugnant is it repellant to the broader world if this situation devolves into that sort of melodrama.

And let me be clear, I am not taking sides in this debate, and I do not favor any one individual perspective.  I do not favor people of faith not speaking the truth.  My problem is that these debates always seem so far away from the manner and tone in which Jesus responded to them.  When Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well, there was not condemnation in his voice for her.  He didn’t bang his fist into the side of the well, and speak judgment of her situation, as was his right.  He showed a deep and abiding compassion for the woman.  He was willing to break all the laws of Jewish society in his time in order to speak with her.  From the text it is obvious that Jesus displayed a delicate and tender touch as he laid out the truth.

And that delicate and tender touch is, from my perspective, what is missing from how mainstream Christianity deals with this issue in general.  The leaders of most faith communities pontificate on this issue more akin to the Pharisees of Jesus time with their vicious hate filled diatribes.  I can almost see them ceremonially rending their garments and covering their heads with ash as the customary Pharisee might have as they speak their position.  It makes me cringe every time I hear these people speak.  It makes me wonder about the sum total of my faith if that expression is what Christianity is supposed to be about.

Honestly, I wish the hate-mongers and religious zealots and downright whack-a-loons could just shut up.  It makes me reach for my remote every time I hear it.  In truth, I think the Church should not engage in this debate at all.  I believe that Christianity is ill-served in every encounter on this subject.  For obvious reasons, the tenderness with which our savior would approach this situation is absent in our discussion of it.  There is little if any love or compassion in our speech on this subject.  And all it does is leave those who fall into this category feeling ostracized, feeling like an outsider, and feeling like a leper.

That isn’t the character we see abundant in the ministry of Jesus at all.  Jesus dealt with these situations usually quietly away from the crush and press of the crowd.  In the rare instance in which he was forced to deal with it publicly, he didn’t take the sinner to task.  He took the accusers to task.  He challenged their right to stand in the judgment seat at all.  He said powerful things like, “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.”  I picture him with a stone in his hand saying that, ready to offer it to the first person willing to step up to the plate, knowing full well that none could or would.

I would be remiss if I didn’t say that Jesus did speak the truth to the individuals in these narratives.  However, as a member of the Trinity he had every right to.  He was there at creation.  He was present when God turned the lights on.  He was present when God recorded the details of the lives of every human being to ever live.  He knew everything about Jennifer Knapp before she ever came to be.  He will one day be part of the great white throne judgment of all humanity.  He will be sitting on that throne.  Neither I nor anyone that acts as an accuser in this life will.  It is God’s right alone to judge humanity.  The power of acceptance and condemnation fall solely in the realm of almighty God.  And we as Christians should get truth.  We should bathe in it.  We should let it sink into the fabric of our being.

Christianity should be spending more of its time trying to live the life they claim to.  They should be spending their life smoking what they’re selling.  They should be dwelling in the rich and verdant garden that is a life spent in communion with their creator.  They should be seeking to ensure that the Fruits of the Spirit are growing in abundance in their lives.  They should be spending time learning to show the love of Christ to others.  Not the phony, fake, plastic thing that passes as love, but leaves people feeling cold and alone, but rather the warm, nurturing, and dare I say intimate, kind of love that leaves no one feeling as such.  The kind of love that was abundant in the ministry of Christ.  The kind of love that turned ordinary Galilean fishermen into apostolic giants in their time is what’s needed here.  The kind of love that turned the world on its head in the first century, as it upended the political, social, and cultural world of its day is what’s called for now.

If you need evidence for this, the people of Antioch called the followers of Jesus, ‘christians’ because they had love one for another.  The nature of the faith they espoused was so characterized by the love of their rabbi that the world couldn’t help but label and identify them as such.  (As an aside, it is worthy of noting that the text says that the people, not the followers of Jesus came up with that moniker.)  The apostle John also says that we show our identification with Christ when we have love one for another.

How does the venomous diatribes that those who claim to lead our faith, measure up to this standard?  How do we measure up to this standard, when we do the same?  I know I am painting with a broad brush here.  I do however feel comfortable in doing so, because the brush I am using also covers me, as I am just as guilty of being like this as anyone.

The path out of this quagmire is simple though.  We need to accept that we are all broken and battered recipients of the stunning grace of almighty God.  We have all sinned and come short of the glory of God.  We have all failed God in numerous ways.  And the collective sum of our failures put Jesus on the cross.  There is no single sin that put Jesus there more than any other.  The sin of homosexuality is no more revolting to God, than any other sin under heaven.  The truth is that all sin is an abomination to God.  All sin serves to separate the sinner from their creator.  I am no better than anyone else and my sin God finds just as nauseating as any other person’s. 

Honestly, if I haven’t sinned numerous times before I leave the house in the morning, it’s a good day.  I thank God daily for the grace he displays for my sin.  Should I be any less graceful to others?  Am I being the unmerciful servant when I refuse to accept the grace of God as it falls on others, or in my dealings with others that have committed more obvious sin?  My sins committed in secret being just as detestable to God as any other.  How big is my God when I approach my life in such a fashion?  Is there room for the omnipotent God of heaven and earth in such a faith?

We shouldn’t allow this situation to become a binary black versus white debate.  We shouldn’t allow Satan the power to divide us in such a fashion.  A black and white debate fails to bring healing, and unity, and brotherhood.  It fails to provide a vehicle for the love that should be the hallmark of our faith to be expressed.  In the end, such a debate leaves everyone and everything looking like some dime store caricature of what our creator intended.  It allows the wolves in sheep’s clothing in both camps to lead us into the abyss that is a morass of hate and anger and failure.

In reality, the truth of the situation is obvious.  The facts are clear.  We members of the community of faith don’t need to fight to express them here.  What has to be said has been said.  It doesn’t need to be spoken again and again and again.  What we need to do now, is defy the stereotype that people have for us.  We need to show that are not small minded bigots and homophobes.  We need to focus on showing the love of Christ wherever and whenever we have the occasion.  We need to reach out to all our neighbors, regardless of where we find them.  We need to remember that we have planks in our eyes, and we can’t extract the speck in our brother’s or sister’s eye without causing harm to them.  The work that needs to be done here belongs to God.  All that we can and should be doing right now is show the love of God until he comes again without comment or controversy.

In truth, what Jennifer Knapp chooses to do with her life, and how she is working out her salvation with fear and trembling, is not for me to judge.  At the end of her life, she will give an account of herself to her creator, and it will be in the midst of that intimate private audience with the one who breathed the breath of life into her nostrils that it will be conducted.  I won’t be there to accuse her, and no one else will either.  The one that knew her before the foundations of the world, the one who loved her with an abundant and awe-inspiring grace will.  I don’t know how it will turn out precisely, because distilling a mysteriously righteous and holy yet loving and benevolent God is a hard thing that doesn’t fit easily into our finite temporal brains.

At least for me, I plan to pray for her as I do many people.  Not because she is in any more need of prayer than me or anyone else, but rather, because I want to ask God to show His love for her.  I want God to remind her how much He cares for her.  I want her to feel the sheer abundance of that love falling on her like a flood, such that she could never deny from whence it came.  I also plan to enjoy her music.  I plan to revel in her success.  I plan to weep with her failures.   Just as I think God in heaven will.  The rest is beyond my right or my role to comment upon.

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The God Box

By Todd French | April 5, 2010

From the nearly the beginning of human history, man has been trying to put God in a box.  This what our finite temporal minds do best.  By nature, we attempt to identify, classify, catalog, and quantify all we encounter.  It’s not a bad thing, honestly.  It was even part of Adam’s charged ministry.  And insomuch as we do this in the physical realm, that’s fine.  It’s our fundamental nature to do so.  It keeps us safe and healthy at the same time.

The problem begins when we take this nature and attempt to apply it to God.  It leads us to say that God is X, or whatever X happens to be based on our flawed and incomplete understanding.  God strongly condemns this practice in many places.  He rebukes those who would follow him from trying to cast him into an image, any image for that matter.  This is in no small measure, because any image, idol, or icon of him fails utterly as an expression of him.

This hasn’t stopped humanity from trying.  The Israelites demanded idols to worship in the desert.  They even turned the Ark of the Covenant into an idol of sorts in one of their confrontations with the Philistines.  In both cases, God handed down some of the harshest discipline in the entirety of the Old Testament, (with the notable exceptions of the Sodom narrative and the captivity periods).

Those examples stand out in stark relief and should prevent us from repeating those tragic mistakes.  Sadly, however, they do not.  Our modern, or post-modern if you prefer, intellects are stilling trying to cast God into a box.  We try to intellectually understand God in concrete terms we can easily absorb.  We attempt to lay hold of the infinite with our pathetic finite brains, and cast for ourselves a mental idol that we can easily make sense of, rationally understand, and work with.  We try to boil God down to some ‘cookies on the bottom shelf’ pabulum that is easily digested by the broadest cross-section of humanity.  It’s what we humans are good at, despite divine commands to the contrary.

My own personal experience speaks volumes to how tragically misguided these efforts are.  In each case, God seemed solidly bent on confounding the box in which I had constructed for him to reside.  I would believe God to be this, that, or the other thing.  I would construct a systematic theology to support this frame of reference, and I would then proceed to live life from this place.  In each and every case, I would feel sure I’d constructed a solid framework which God could work from and reside within.  And in each and every case, the framework would collapse of its own weight, because God either didn’t know the role I’d written for him in the construct, didn’t care to play by the rules I’d codified for him, or wanted to frustrate my every effort to build a box for him mental or otherwise.  As to which one was the most proximal cause of my frustration, I’m sure I won’t know this side of Heaven.  I do now believe that it was a little of all three.

And so it is that I am no longer a spiritual box builder.  I’m tired of building a thing only to find out how pathetic a job I’d done at building the container.  Today, I find myself enthralled by the mysterious nature of God.  I swear that the older I get the more mysterious God becomes.  And the older I get the less interested I am in box building and systematic theology construction that effect to explain God.  I’ll leave the box building and systematic theology construction to the younger crowd.  I don’t have the energy or the desire for it anymore.  I am, today at least, content with the description God gave to Moses, “I am that I am”.  Nothing more works, fits, or effectively applies.

Who am I, after all, to describe effectively a being that exists, a part from the confines of this mortal coil?  Who am I to attempt to rationally explain a being that at its very core is not rational?  I wasn’t there at the moment God turned the lights on by the simple act of a spoken declaration of will.  And it’s unlikely I will be there when he turns them off to replace them with the glorious radiance that is his fundamental being.  I wasn’t there when the God that doesn’t change yet somehow remains mysterious laid the foundations of this world, and all the others.  And, unless I am wrong, I won’t be there when he reveals the new Heaven and the new Earth, (at least in the flesh).

So I am left only to accept that God is, and that my life should be lived from a place of acceptance of that immutable truth.  I shouldn’t posses the wantonly arrogant hubris that believes the Bible gives me anything more than enough information about God to find faith and belief for that God.  To do so is absolute folly, and dare I say utterly foolish.  The Bible is not a handbook for understanding God.  It is not a biology textbook that quantifies God in realistic terms.  It does not function to provide a vivisectionist’s guide to dissecting the divine.  Rather it provides the evidence that confirms the existence of that God, and the route by which that God can be interacted with.  Anything more is vain folly and narcissistic arrogance that places more worth on the spirit of man than his creator confers himself.

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The Activist God Revisited

By Todd French | March 17, 2010

Let me start out by saying that I believe in an activist God.  I always have, and I always will.  My struggles of late have tested my belief in this area sorely.  I have determined that it’s easy to espouse a belief in an activist deity when things are going well.  It’s easy to believe in a God that’s actively involved in the affairs of men, when one is gainfully employed, the bills are paid, and things are going pretty much according to your plan.  But that as I have come to find out over the last few months is faith not based upon anything but a theoretical understanding of God.  It’s easy to look at the Bible, see God at work there, and say that example exposits an activist God.

The last few months of my life have been a transition from a theoretical understanding of this principle of the activist God to a more genuine understanding of this principle.  I don’t say that as a point of pride, or as something of which I am proud.  I didn’t set out to end up here, and I certainly wouldn’t have chosen to come here, but I am here nonetheless.  The transition from theoretical to practical can be summed up in a single word, uncertainty.  A life in which the things that were certain before become uncertain now, is the definition for this.

Before this period began, I could say with some measure of confidence what the immediate future held.  I could say that our bills were going to be met without difficulty.  I could say that our healthcare was assured.  I could say that I was a valued member of a team that made a difference in state government.  Today, none of that is true by default.  Each day carries with it a direct measure of uncertainty.  Today, and every day since this period began I am forced to confront the uncertainty that is incumbent in this situation armed only with the convictions of my faith.

I enter each day and have to reaffirm my faith that God is my provider, and that he cares for me and those he has entrusted to my care.   Each day I have to believe that this activist God has a plan, and that his plan is what is best for me.  Each day I have to accept, sometimes grudgingly and sometimes not, that God’s timing is perfect and that my timing isn’t his.  I have to dwell in the moment, and know that the God of Genesis 1:1 is working on my behalf for my best end, and I have to accept that no other end than this is what’s best.

Some days, like today, I find myself struggling with what God has promised and his timeline for fulfilling that promise.  I find myself, not unlike Sarah in the Old Testament, wondering when God is going to fulfill his word.  I find myself wondering about my value before and to this activist God.  And sometimes, I wonder if my prayers are breaking through the ceiling at all.  And on my worst days, I wonder if God has forgotten my number. 

And so it is on my worst days, like today, I have to struggle to believe in the activist God.  I have to struggle to believe that the God of the Bible still works that way today.  I have to struggle to believe in anything at all for that matter.  In a situation that from the outside looks bad trending worse, I worry, and I fear that it will never get better.  And the sum of those worries and fears become a smothering flood that threatens to drown me.

In the midst of those days, my solace, my comfort, my guide has become the knowledge that what I am experiencing is not uncommon to the human condition, and the human experience.  People before me have suffered this, and people after me will suffer this.  I have to recognize that this is a time in the crucible of life.  I am being exposed to intense heat right now; my distaste for this status quo notwithstanding.  I have to recognize the value of this time.  I have to somehow; as the writer of the book of James puts it, rejoice when I fall into trouble of various kinds.

And it has been in finding the joys of this time in the crucible that I have found relief from my fears and my worries.  It has been in being reminded of all that I have and how dear those things are to me, that the flood is swept away.  It is in participating in the simple joys of family life, that all that weighs upon me is relieved.  It is in watching my children find joy in playing cards, or watching a movie, or riding their bikes and scooters that I realize that things aren’t so bad.  It is in realizing what a wonderful woman I am married to, that I find the man I was meant to be.  It is the journey to becoming this man that God deemed it important to bring this time of woe upon me.  This activist God led me to this place.  And this activist God has deemed it important that I dwell here for a time, the exact duration of my stay is as yet undetermined.

I have found my place in the domicile that God has built up around me, and I relish it.  I have become actively involved in it, and it is a wonderful thing.  I have my good days, and my bad ones, but I love it for what it is.  And in all honesty, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

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Hope

By Todd French | March 12, 2010

Hope as it turns out is a cheap slut, or so my current situation would lead me to believe.  Allow me to explain…  I awoke this morning to find a situation that looked very promising in my email.  A company that I submitted a resume to for a completely different job, (for which I was absolutely unqualified), had done something very interesting.  Rather than toss my resume, they compared it to their other openings, and contacted me regarding a possible match.  In the preliminary discussions everything looked hopeful.  I dared to believe that this was THE ONE, that this was a providential opportunity that was going to lead to gainful employment.  I dared to hope.  I dared to believe.

It seemed like everything was going well.  I updated my resume as requested by the human resources staff at the company.  I asked for prayer from the people closest to me.  And everything looked like it was going to work out.  Until all hope was extinguished when the person I had been dealing with asked for more detailed revisions to my resume, and included the resumes of the other candidates in the process to show me what he was looking for.  It was at this point that hope fled like the virtue of a prom queen after the prom is over.  And I was left with an unbelievable situation and I was surely stunned.  The other candidates completely blew me out of the water in terms of qualifications, experience, training, and job knowledge.  They had advanced degrees, and decades of experience I could only wish to have.  One was even on the development team for the most current release of the product this job entails supporting.

And so I gave in to the dark despair that lurks in the recesses of my spirit.  I was left with a number of questions regarding the quality and nature of my faith.  The Bible says in many places that God cares for all of his creation.   Jesus himself repeats this theme in his ministry also.  I believe this to be true, and yet I wonder about God’s provision in my immediate context.  I am fearful about the future.  I accept the Bible at face value that God has a plan for my life, and yet I am frightened about its timing and implementation.

I wonder if I am a liar when I say that I believe in God’s word on this subject, yet reside in such a dark and despairing place.  I wonder if it is sinful to be fearful that God won’t fulfill his promises.  Am I a hypocrite when I exhort others to believe in God, when my faith seems to be so shallow?  Am I the wrong man for anything God may have planned for the future, when I am compelled to ask these questions?  Should I just accept the counsel of Job’s wife and ‘curse God and die’?

And yet in my darkest times I was reminded that God is sovereign.  I was reminded that despite my circumstances, God still sits on the throne.  I was uplifted to know that in spite of all the wind and rain that is buffeting my situation the omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent being that created the universe by the simple spoken declaration of his will still exists.  The power to confirm all that he has promised still resides in his spirit. 

If I do nothing more than retain the belief in those things, I will have succeeded in surviving the test of this moment, for surely it must have been a test.  I was compelled to remember always, that my timing isn’t his timing.  I was encouraged to remain steadfast in accepting that God pays for what he orders in our lives.  He protects all that creates with the same power that said, ‘let there be light’.  Those that God has entrusted into the care of my life, matter to almighty God.  I matter to him at the same time.

This moment might seem to some to have been trivial.  It might seem like much ado about nothing.  I assure you that it wasn’t.  The substance of my very soul was tested this morning.  I was weighed on the scales.  I can only pray that I didn’t come to the place of remembrance too late.  I can only wish that my despair wasn’t as costly to me in the long term as I fear it might be.  The path out of despair this morning was painful and difficult, but I came out of the place.  And I know I didn’t reside there or walk out of there alone.  The spirit of God was there trying to comfort the whole time.  It was this same spirit that provided timely remembrances of God’s word and promises.  And it was this same spirit that carried me out of the land of despair when it was time, my feelings regarding hope notwithstanding.

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The Lesson of Babel

By Todd French | February 12, 2010

For most of my life I’ve been a fanatical devotee of technology.  I believed there was no problem that a well-crafted technological solution couldn’t obviate.  I believed in this so fervently that it extended into my faith.  I believed that technology could reach the teeming masses for Christ.

And it has flourished.  TV ministries have exploded in size, scope, prevalence, and popularity.  There is a problem though.  To date, they have failed in what I see as the primary purpose of the medium.  The current and historical extrapolations of TV ministries have amassed prominence and power to the head of the ministry, but have done little to advance the cause of Christ.  These ministries typically reach the already reached and as such end up in a preaching to the choir mode.

They end up taking the kingdom where it already is and as such the best if can do is function as an adjunct to what is already going on.  The down side to these ministries relates to the numerous character flaws of the people who’ve lead them.  When the medium builds up someone it also magnifies their failures as well.  From Jimmy Swaggart to Jim Baker and beyond the character failures of these few have harmed the cause of Christ greatly.  These failures have hardened the hearts of those these ministries should have focused on reaching in the first place.

The failures of this medium didn’t deter me from my belief on this subject.  Rather, I believed it was implementation and the people behind it that were responsible for the failure.  I still ardently believed in the efficacy of technology to advance the gospel.  I simply transferred my preferred implementation of technology as the vehicle.

Next, I believed that radio could serve as the next vehicle.  Radio as a technology was mature.  It was cheap to obtain and it was everywhere.  So much so, that it is hard to find a place anywhere on the planet that isn’t served by radio in some form.  However it suffered from the same weaknesses as TV.  It elevated men with serious character defects and their fall was just as disastrous with the same down side as TV.

After two colossal candidate failures, I should have been deterred from continuing this quest, but I wasn’t.  The next candidate to enter the fray was the internet.  In this day and age, the connection divide at least in industrialized nations has largely been erased.  The medium erases transmissional barriers.  It allows for instant dissemination to anyone with a connection to it.

Much to my chagrin, it has failed also.  In part, because the developing world largely has more pressing needs than surfing the web.  In part, this is true because the developed world is more interest in using the internet as a porn delivery system.  And in part it’s true, because the character of those attempting to lead such movements always comes up short.

Recently, I was forced to accept that technology can’t ever revolutionize the way the gospel reaches the world.  Technology is about an engineered solution that transmits the exact message of the sender.  It is about the movement of ones and zeroes from point A to point B.  The gospel is about sharing the heart of God with the world.

It’s spiritual. It’s relational. It’s intimate.  It’s done best in the context of one life touching another as directed by the divine.  No implementation of a protocol can replicate that, regardless of how well intentioned or engineered.

Simply put, I had to accept that my overall premise was flawed.  Any technological solution will only serve as an adjunct to what already exists.  What I should have learned are the lessons the Bible teaches from the Tower of Babel narrative found in Genesis.  The story tells of the desire to build a great tower that reaches the heavens.  And so a united humanity decides to undertake this mission.  God then steps in and confuses their language, thus preventing its completion.

The text points out that God was concerned that a single unified humanity was a threat, because nothing would be impossible for them.  I have often been troubled by this narrative.  It doesn’t fit the mold we have for God.  God steps in to deny them the completion of their tower.  It seems petty of God.  It seems capricious.  It’s not logical for God to intervene in this matter in this fashion.

My problems with the narrative were resolved when I realized a few simple things.  The builders of the tower were operating in defiance of God’s command to scatter across the globe, multiply, and subdue the earth.  Their building of the tower was to avoid being scattered and to amass a name for themselves.  They attempted to use their technology to thwart God’s will.  God responded by insisting on his will and denying them the power of their technology by creating communication barriers.

God wasn’t concerned with just the tower.  He was concerned with what a united people might be capable of next.  If they could build a technological marvel in defiance of God’s desire for them to the contrary, then what else was possible for these humans?  What need would these people have for God?

The answer is simple.  They wouldn’t need God at all.  They could place themselves on God’s throne and do as they pleased.  Subsequently, God moved to prevent this, and every time since, when man has developed his dependence on a better mouse trap for him that cuts his dependence on the divine.  God has moved in to show his creation how little he really knows and understands.

How does this impact technology and God you ask?  Is God really calling us to a Luddite existence?  Should we all become Amish?  In a word, no.  What God is seeking of us in this venue is to seek him first.  We should set aside technology and live within the context in which we are planted.  Technology shouldn’t seek to revolutionize how the gospel is disseminated.  Rather it should be an adjunct to its flow.  It should be subservient to the spirit of God.

In other words, I learned that technology will always fail when it isn’t the servant in the relationship or when it is implemented by those seeking anything other than God’s will for this lives and those they are in relationship with.  The flow should be from God to his servants and from his servants to those God deemed it necessary to be reached.  In this flow God is sovereign and we serve him and any technology we use serves that end.  Anything else perverts this flow and makes a mockery of the proper process.

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