The question at hand seems simple, basic, and banal even on some level. And that is certainly true as the question, ‘How do I love and not hate?’ is all of those things and more. This question and our response to it is a central theme of our walk with Christ. The reason for this is simple enough. As the single biggest hurdle humanity faces is well, other humans. How well we respond to the treatment of the ‘other’ is a vital issue. Humanity usually clears this hurdle with room to spare in good times or when the treatment from the ‘other’ is either to our liking or not of a deleterious nature.
The problem comes in when times are tough, or the treatment from the ‘other’ is not to our liking. The problem is exacerbated when those who would be ‘the enemy’ take to this role in any meaningful measure. The vast majority of humanity responds to tough times with determined tough resolve, and similarly to harsh treatment with harshness in kind. The response to ‘the enemy’ is usually much, much worse. This response is endemic to the fallen sin nature and as such is the normal inclination of humanity.
With this normative human state being understood, the problem for the Christian is much more complicated. It occurs when the individual disciple interfaces with the teaching of Jesus on this issue. Jesus contends our response should be the polar opposite of our natural inclination. He contends our response to tough times isn’t toughness, but rather generosity. He contends our response to harshness isn’t harshness in kind, but rather gentleness. He contends our response to hatred and violence is peace and love.
These contentions of Christ are so radical and so out of step with the normative state of humanity that they are nothing short of a paradigm shift. Love those that hate you. Bless those that curse you. Those two statements alone are difficult in the extreme to implement. In the heat of the moment, the struggle to respond in kind to hate filled vitriol or venomous anger is a definite internal conflict of the highest order. In my case, it nearly causes a stroke in me as I struggle to not repay evil for evil. And most of Christianity, me included, handles this conflict poorly; thereby failing the test of character. In so doing, the world sees the words of Jesus and fails to see them at work in the life of the average Christian.
This creates a fundamental disconnect between what we should aspire to be as Christians and where we currently dwell. This disconnect leads many to believe that Christians are hypocrites, espousing Jesus, but unable walk out the faith they claim to have accepted. On some level, this is true, and I am just as guilty of this as any.
The question becomes, how do I live out these commitments on this subject? How do I walk out a life characterized by love, generosity, and peace in a fallen world? How do I deny the basal instincts of my humanity and respond with the traits Jesus claims we should? What does love instead of hate look like in application? What does it amount to? Where is the entry point for a life lived like this?
It begins in the depth of relationship with Jesus. If we are only wading in this relationship in a lip service fire insurance expression of faith, then one should expect to at best only be able to respond in a wading faith fashion to these dilemmas. If our desire is to erase the hypocritical disconnect, then our relationship with Jesus must be fully immersed. It is only in doing so, that we will be able to access the love instead of hate response paradigm. It is only in allowing our walk with Jesus to transmute, transform, and transmogrify the totality of the thing we call self.
This is a tall order to be sure. It however doesn’t require harder work on our part. In fact, no amount of work on our part will ever transform us. No increase in Bible study, or devotional time, (although important to be sure), will carry out the transmutation that has to occur.
What is required is encapsulated in a single word; surrender. We need, I need, to give up and surrender. We need to realize that we can’t study long enough, can’t pray hard enough, can’t spend enough time in devotional study, or worship with enough ferocity to manage this. All those things are important, but they can’t force of their own volition the fundamental change that’s required. In short, we can’t earn enough points on our power to get this to happen. We can’t make it happen under of our own strength of will.
We have to realize that the process only starts and works when we are surrendered to it. It only works when we see this as an adjunct to the grace equation. It is only in allowing God to flow this grace into us by our surrendering, that we can be transmogrified. The element isn’t a work we can do by memorizing the principles, Bible passages, or core concepts and doing it on our own. It works only by setting aside our pride and entering the relationship with Christ in a deep and meaningful way akin to a pauper, a beggar, as one who has nothing of value to merit, to earn, or to purchase the change explicitly stated here.
In accepting this position of humble prostrate similitude, we become pliable in the master’s hands. It is only in doing so, that our fundamental core can be remade by the creator. It is only in doing so, that we can access the different instruction set that comes with this change. It is only in having our heart remade in the love relationship with our savior and Lord, that we can see the responses that are necessary in each situation. It is only from this place, that we can consistently walk the extra mile, give sacrificially of our self and life, and take the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune without responding with slings and arrows of our own. It is only in doing so that we can fulfill the purpose set within our hearts by God.
The problem with answering this question is this. This is as far as the answer can be taken realistically. The process for resolving the rest of this is individualized in nature and will take on whatever form God chooses to use for the individual in question. The God that created individualized snowflake formations is the same God, which wants to radically alter the hearts, minds, and spirits of men. God works as He wills, and according to His purposes. If it was possible to just be a better person, and love more and hate less, a dry recitation of the Bible passages, (and trust me there are many), would work to help the disciple in question. Simple inculcation of principles, concepts, and data is not enough to assist the believer in making this change. The process God is interested in here, is so much more expansive than that. It is so much more than just loving more and hating less, even from an external perspective.
It is really about taking up our cross and following him, every day, but not in the manner you might think. It is about bearing the Yoke of Christ, which Jesus himself said was light and easy, and contained the rest that our souls that we ache for. It is about being compliant with the work of the spirit in our life that spurs us on to the greater things of the spirit that God has in store for us. It is about reaching with the help of our creator for the nobler aspirations of our spirit. It is about being changed by God, and then living out that change each and every day of our lives. It isn’t easy, but it is what we’ve been called to. It is the faith that we’ve chosen to live. And it is only by allowing God to carry us that it can ever work even to the smallest degree.
I am sorry that there isn’t an easy answer to this question. I am sorry that there isn’t a secret formula to resolving the dilemma expressed in the question. I am sorry that there isn’t a short-cut to loving more and hating less. The answer is a heart fully surrendered to our maker, living out a love relationship with him. It is in the context of this relationship that we become different people. It is only in living out this commitment that the external things matter less, and the things of God matter more. It is only when we realize that loving the creation is equivalent to loving God and ourselves that we find the bridge across the chasm of the disconnect.
We need to become different people. And only God can realize this change for us.
