My life has seen what many would view as an upheaval of late. Security in financial terms has taken a serious blow. My overall life has been filled with much more instability than I would like or prefer. In view of this, it would be easy to take a dim view of these events, and become bitter and pessimistic. And I must admit that the temptation to do just that has been there. This temptation is a seductive mistress as it allows my head and my heart to go exactly where they earnestly want to go. It would allow me to surrender to the anxiety that could easily rule me.
I have somehow managed to avoid yielding to this temptation. This has been a struggle to be sure, as I am not by nature an optimist. It has been to date a combination of white knuckled determination and faith. I have managed to cling to the hope that this patch of instability will pass someday, (soon hopefully). I have done this by remembering what the writer of the book of Ecclesiastes said, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”. This verse reminds me that all things have their appointed time in which to partake of them, and that all things that begin will eventually end.
This season is not one that I would have chosen for myself. It is not something that I would have volunteered to undergo by any means. If I had known what this season would entail, I certainly would have taken measures to avoid it. It has however been a season that to date has been very instructive and revelatory for me. This moment in time has taught me many things in the short time I have endured it. I thought it productive to share some of them with you here.
Less is More
This statement tends to confound the materialistic perspective that drives most of our lives, and certainly drove mine. The heart of this post-modern age seems to still be, “Get all you can, Can all you get, and Sit on the can”. This is somewhat at odds with what I am going through right now. This season has guaranteed that I cannot indulge my every materialistic wish and whim. A certain measure of discipline has come into my life by force. As I am not a disciplined person by nature this turn of events has not been welcome by any means.
I have been reminded me that happiness is not found in the abundance of things. I have found that happiness isn’t in getting everything you want, but in wanting what you get. And also in appreciating what you have. My inability to buy the next shiny gadget that beeps and buzzes isn’t the measure of my life. In fact, if anything, this inability has reminded me how much I already have.
This season has forced a certain limitations upon me due to financial necessity. It has created a lack of funds for a broad swath of discretionary things I enjoyed. It has created an inability to purchase a bagel sandwich and Danish most days. I was surprised to find that this doesn’t make me unhappy. It has reminded me that I am capable of cooking for myself things that taste nearly as good for a fraction of the cost. This time in my life has created an inability to go and buy a stack of books a couple of times a month and I have found much to my chagrin that this doesn’t make me unhappy. It has forced me to inventory what I already have and start reading the wealth of unread tomes that make up my library. I am now not able to go out and buy a new laptop but like the other examples this hasn’t made me unhappy. It has made me appreciate the large amount of computer equipment and power that I already possess.
True happiness as it turns out, has less to do with volume than it does with the amplitude with which the existing state is enjoyed. And so in my case, less stuff has actually equaled more happiness. I have found that it is all about the perspective with which the current state is approached. I have found that I can get along just fine without the current latest and greatest things. I have found that joy isn’t found there.
Slow Down
The simple truth of my life prior to the onset of this season could be encapsulated in two simple words: Hustle and Hurry. My life was quite fast paced, and in everything I found myself feeling rushed. I was always behind the targets I had set for myself. I was late to set my feet on what I thought would be my life long career path. I was late to the both the institutions of marriage and fatherhood. I was late to coming to the place of realizing all of my goals for my life.
And so in typical American fashion, I felt the pressure to pick up the pace in order to catch up with where I perceived I needed to be. This forced me to rush through things, that I should have taken more time with or at least taken a more deliberative approach to handling. It forced me into a place where I was in a hurry with everything and wasn’t able to enjoy anything. Prior to the onset of this season, I knew I wasn’t happy. And I knew that my unhappiness was intrinsically tied to my inability to take the time to focus on any given thing.
This knowledge didn’t force me to slow down by any means. It forced me to hustle all the more through what I saw as unimportant drivel to get to the important things in my life. The problem was simple though. The more I plowed through the unimportant stuff, the more unimportant stuff there was to plow through. I was never really able to break through the mundane and dispense with the banal things of my life. I was constantly trying to shred the crap to get to what I thought was important.
The harder I tried this approach the less happy I was with it. It was only in accepting this season, and coming to terms with its entrance into my life, that things have changed for me. This season has forced me to slow down. It has forced me to linger over the events of my life. It has only been in accepting that my life before was what the book of Ecclesiastes calls, “A chasing after the wind”, that I have been able to find peace and joy in the slowness and stillness of this new period of my life. It has been in finding joy in the mundane, and peace in the banal things of life, that I have become a much happier person.
It has been in slowing down enough to enjoy raking the leaves, cleaning the gutters, and doing light housework, that I have found peace and joy. It has only been in realizing the importance of the mundane that I have felt privileged to participate in it. It has been in slowing down enough to appreciate the sunset that the purpose of life has become all too clear to me.
Dwell in the Now
This time in my life has slowed me down and stripped me of my desires for inconsequential things. It has forced me to live my life as God intended it, moment by moment. God intended for man to dwell in the now. He desired for his creation to live a lifetime in a single breath. And to realize that each moment was a gift from God. As children we lived this principle fully. Children are amazing in that they are able to revel in the glory of a simple moment in time. They are able to dwell for a time playing more with the packaging a new thing came in than with the new thing itself.
As adults we lose touch with this, and become focused not on the moment, but on planning for what’s next. We live our entire lives without actually being present in the moment that is happening right now in front of us. I was as guilty of this as anyone. Life was unfolding in front me, and I was unable to dwell in it as God had intended for me. I was consumed with anything but the moment in front of me. This was not a good way to live my life.
As this season came to fully dwell in my life, it has brought into sharp contrast that all I have is this moment in particular. All I have is this time to revel in the glory of the life that God has granted me. All I have is right now. That is all I am guaranteed. Anything that comes next is pure bonus. It has drawn me closer to the things that dwell in my life on a daily basis. It has reminded me of the rich blessing of being the full contact daddy right now. It has reminded me that I get to do more to help out around the house right now than at any time before in my marriage. It has reminded me that any day spent breathing and upright is a blessing and should be treated as such.
I don’t have any illusions that this time is some Norman Rockwellesque utopia. I know that there are serious issues to confront right now. I know that my life is uncertain right now. I do however feel like I have woken up from a long sleep and am beginning to enjoy life in the way I was intended to by my creator. I am convinced that the God who closed the door on my previous life wouldn’t do so without having a plan for what comes next. The old hymn I sang as a child comes to mind right now, “I am convinced that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day.”
This season with its instability and uncertainty will pass in due course in the fullness of time. It will be replaced with whatever God has planned for next. My task is to not worry about what comes next, but rather to slow down, accept that less is more, and dwell in the only thing guaranteed me by my creator: which is now.
This blog represents the thoughts, opinions, and work of one imperfect disciple of Christ and his occasional guest posters. It does not express the opinions of any institution, denomination, or local church. I am a graduate student studying the Bible, a writer, and a student of Christ. 
